ef – a tale of memories – 11

Renji and Chihiro go out on a date together after Chihiro has finished her novel and get closer in their relationship then they were before.


HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Ok, sorry if my language offended anyone, I try and keep from swearing in my posts even though I do it a lot otherwise but this episode was so big that I couldn’t stop. I just don’t know what to say. I literally yelled out loud holy shit when this episode finished, it was THAT big. The thing is it’s not really the end either. They haven’t concluded anything, as we don’’ know what will happen. I have three paragraphs longer then most posts I ever write saying what I think might happen, but this episode didn’t really conclude anything. It just took the tragic situation, made us feel for the characters, and then exploded it in our faces. Things were moving along so great with the two of them. Even after Chihiro’s total memory wipe they were still together perfectly. They even had sex, getting extremely far in their relationship, then things turned serious again letting us remember how terribly doomed the situation is. The book was a bit of a shocker but after seeing the ending I realize what it really means. It’s not like the girl destroyed everything because she was mad or frustrated or weird, but it’s exactly what Chihiro did, burning away all her memories. I can’t say I disagree with Chihiro’s actions really, because looking at it logically and even emotionally it makes sense. Their situation wasn’t good. She was causing Renji to suffer a bit, even if he didn’t mind because he loved Chihiro, because of her and the situation Renji was suffering. By breaking all ties with him she sacrificed four years of her life and memories for his happiness. Even if he is sad because of it and he’s going to be depressed for a while now, it was at least a move in the right direction and a move she made out of love. It was just huge but there is still so much that could happen.

The one thing I keep wondering about now is simply what the hell are they going to do now. I literally, no exaggeration, spent ten minutes pacing back and forth down a hallway after this episode just thinking of everything that happened and what will happen. For the most part, their situation is screwed. I don’t know why this is that big of a thing to me; I said from the beginning that their situation was doomed to end in tragedy no matter what. There are a couple of things I can see happening, mainly what I though of during those ten minutes of pacing. There are maybe some possibilities for a happy ending but at best they are a stretch to reach and if they have to stretch to explain them it probably wouldn’t fit the story, but here it goes.

Ways that this story, Renji and Chihiro, could have a happy ending are limited. There is of course the possibility that something supernatural could happen. Honestly, I don’t think this will happen and really I don’t want it to. They haven’t had anything supernatural happen yet, the only thing they’ve had is the appearance of the nun person and that’s really just symbolism for these characters talking to themselves almost. Something supernatural happening wouldn’t really fit well at all; it would go against the flow of how things have been going and kind of say oh this is a tragic situation, tad a, not anymore. The other options I see for a “happy” ending is that Chihiro’s memory defect is cured normally. Really, as long as she has this memory defect the situation can’t turn out to be happy because even if Renji effectively restarts their relationship, meeting her for the first time again and all, it would first of all be way to horrible and tragic of a thing for Renji to go though but ultimately it seems as if it would end up the same way, as Chihiro is pretty much the same person she would likely feel and come to the conclusion she is hurting him and try and erase things again. A cycle like that wouldn’t be healthy for either of them. However like I said her defect could be cured naturally perhaps explained by her deep attachment to Renji. Renji told Himura he thought her memories were getting better and I seem to remember Himura maybe saying the doctors said there may be hope for her memories if something big happened. So her defect could be cured and they would end up together. However that is stretching it quite a bit for all of a sudden things to be fine. The twist on that is that they go into it slowly. Something along the lines of Chihiro remembering Renji even after 13 hours of loosing the pages. Even after having no memory or record of him at all, still remembering him. I can kind of see something like that happening and if it does there is hope for them. However, again if her defect isn’t cured completely it will fall into that cycle I just talked about and won’t really end up good. Still, if she ends up remembering him anyways and they use that to say its cured it might be okay. I’d even be fine with something along the lines of her remembering her feelings for him, but not him, even if they have to meet each other fir the first time as long as that memory defect problem is dealt with it will be fine, but like I said and this is really the main problem this whole situation has had is that as long as she has that problem things won’t end up good even if they restart over again.

Aside from those “happy” endings that are kind of a stretch the other possibilities are bittersweet endings. However saying bittersweet is extremely generous and I pretty much don’t mean it. Anything other then what I mentioned above will really be a tragic end for both of them. If Renji accepts it, realizes Chihiro may have been right and was trying to protect him, and moves on it will still be absolutely horrible for him. He’ll have these memories of a girl he deeply loved and who deeply loved him but they can’t be together. I don’t’ see him being able to be in any other kind of relationship without some form of closure which just wont happen in that setting. As for Chihiro, even though she won’t remember anything she’ll go back to that pathetic state she described she was in before meeting Renji. It won’t be anything new for her but she’ll be in a hopeless situation, never able to love, and being miserable her whole life. It would be horrible for both of them but the tragic endings are so extremely simple to envision that it could be what happens.

4 thoughts on “ef – a tale of memories – 11”

  1. Interesting. In real life, people with Chihiro’s condition (anterograde or retrograde amnesia) actually can at least partially recover naturally, usually with physical objects or reminders of their forgotten memories. A good bittersweet ending would be to not have her remember Renji totally, but feel something strangely familiar when she sees him again.

    This was a monumentally sad episode, and they just can’t stop piling on the surprises. I too really want to see Chihiro come to some kind of satisfaction in her life. I care about her that much.:) (And an explanation for Renji’s sudden panic attacks earlier.)

  2. Really an episode that blew me away. I mean you just never knew what would happen with these two. But they had such a beautiful day going around, Renji probably sinking a good chunk of change in that game to get the stuffed toy Chihiro wanted. Thing went all the way with that roof and you just wondered what would come next.

    Reading the story was a pretty heavy thing. Instead of the two options they discussed earlier she pulled a third one. Destroying everything for the story girl and herself. Practically and for all intensive purposes committing suicide up there. Destroying the girl she was and leaving things in such an emotional moment it was hard to even respond to. Just took some time staring at the screen to comprehend it.

    In a sense she didn’t accept the criticism he had for the ending (the book and their relationship) and forced the issue by tossing the pages of their time together. I’m not even sure how the guy will respond to this. Will he just give up? Accept she made the choice and move on. Though I’m not sure if he can do that. He’s tied to this and those memories won’t leave him. Maybe he can live on, but that’s all I’d expect from him. A lost love and the question of whether he could recover.

    Now I don’t expect a supernatural conclusion. Things have gone through in this series with very little outside intervention. Aside from that woman giving counsel they have been pretty good with that. It won’t lie, really I do like a positive conclusion to things. There isn’t much hope here. But Renji wanted to be a knight, so its time to find a way to save the day.

    A visual cue that keeps coming back to my mind is him popping into that circle she’s chained in and crushing the chain with an axe or something. Will he just stand pat or even with all the pain reach out once more? How ill the book which is the end result of their relationship play into this? A lot of questions and you just have to wait and see I suppose.

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